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why did i have to be like this

why did i have to be like this

Why did I have to be the way that I am? It's infuriating I just need to get it out. I'm 50kgs so I'm fat, I fail the paper bag test so I have brown skin that's considered dark, I'm ugly and I'm rich. It's such a horrible combination! And yes, being rich is a downside too. I have to attend all these balls to meet with family friends and other important people for the sake of reputation, I have to constantly think about keeping connections with important people and families, I need to start preparing myself from now at age 16 so that I can inherit my father's company and still keep it afloat with the establishment of my own firm on the side. Not to mention, in this city everyone knows everyone if you're rich so I constantly have to worry about reputation and what gossiping mothers will think of me. The only good coming out of this is being able to drive a Jaguar! It'd be fine if I was pretty but noo. I'm south asian so everyone (including me) still has this internalized-self hate from being colonized by the British for having dark skin... and that just makes it so hard for me. The only way I'll ever be considered pretty with my skin is if I'm "exotic" and I hate that word... and if I don't lose 15kgs by senior year all the mothers will remember me as ugly and not consider me for marrying their sons. Not that I'd get an arranged marriage, but it'd be so easy to impress in-laws and do good to my father's name if I had the looks to go along with the brains.
I just wish that I was a skinny, fair-skinned Korean or Spanish girl living in a small but pretty apartment doing what she loves. I know this rant sounds like the most ignorant thing ever but it's how I feel, and I needed to get it out somewhere.
Scarlett. Friends October 09, 2019 at 2:06 am 1
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You should look for a truly submissive bondage-loving male, addicted to bondage and delighted to be bound and forced to pleasure you in any way you want, 24/7 if you wish... He would also enjoy doing all the housework, and even "busy" work, on your slightest whim. You could train him into instant total obedience, and he would treasure you unconditionally for being willing to meet his needs, which ought to mirror yours, sexually at least. He would be a respectful and respectable companion, in public or with relatives, being really scared of your punishments, for any infraction or embarrassment! I have been living in a really powerful femme-dom marriage myself, with an older, plain-looking overweight lady. who controls my entire life, right down to how much air she allows me - seriously! I would never DARE piss her off, or risk being rendered unconscious slowly, over and over again until I learn whatever her latest requirement may be, to her complete satisfaction. We are fully fulfilled this way, and while it may not be love on her part, I worship her, often for hours, under her generous ass, pleasuring her in helpless detail...
Jan 2 months ago
Don’t listen to that idiotic comment.
I think your being to hard on yourself. I don’t know how much 50kg is but you’ll lose the weight you want. I’m not rich so I can’t relate to that aspect of your life, but feeling ugly is only temporary. And if you are that rich why not look into some cosmetic surgery? I’m not saying get the Joan rivers look but some light procedure just to make yourself feel better.

Q 1 month ago
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