I ve never hated school Until now

I've never hated school, and used to be good at it. Then COVID-19 caused the schools to shut down. I've done digital learning days before, and been pretty good at them, so I wasn't really worried about this one. Boy, I was wrong. They feel impossible. I can't stay motivated. When I try to do them all, I have no time for anything else. Sure, school is important, but I'm finally having that moment where your like "Oh my god, what if I get retained/held back?" and "I feel like I'd be more successful without school.". The digital assignments feel way harder than the work we did when we physically came to school, and I feel like they have a plan to make us fail. The teachers say for us to email them if we need help, but A: I don't trust these people with my email address (we don't have school ones) and B: I have trouble speaking to them in person. Now I have to email them, where god forbid I phrase something wrong and all hell breaks lose?? Sure, sign me up. I honestly hope that the thing they use for digital learning days shuts down. I feel like something tragic happening to me (like dying horribly) would be my only option to avoid failing. I'm scared and all my family members are never good to talk to when I'm having issues with school. The only other people I could turn to are grief counselors who cost money. I need to vent to someone, but I need it to be free. I can honestly say that for the first time, I feel like I have no future. With that being said, I'll just say that I'm worried, sad, scared, mad, and a lot of other things. I feel awful and if I don't get help from somebody who isn't a teacher, family member, or somebody who costs money, I may die or commit suicide. I hope nobody else feels this way, and if they do, please know your not alone.

---

Camden School April 18, 2020 at 1:38 pm 0 0