GRR COLLEGE

OK so I've struggled with my freshman year of college, ended up failing two classes and dropping out my second semester, right. It was stupid, I know. I had a reason, and that was because I was struggling in all sorts of fucked up and dropped out to save my GPA. I decided my life wasn't over too little too late and decided to hop back on my academic career. I enrolled in summer courses, I think they went great and now I'm awaiting my final grades. My issue- I called my academic advisor to talk about my schedule and what my future would look like but neglected to notice it was 3am and left a very concerning "I want to discuss maybe not returning to college because I'm on the fence" in between stifled sobs (this was before I officially committed to my summer courses). Completely chill. I will admit it was not my strongest moment. She called me two weeks later and I completely forgot about my voicemail I left her. Tell me why this sweet, patient angel of a human ENROLLED ME IN THE OFFICE OF DISABILITIES CLASS WITHOUT DISCUSSING IT WITH ME. SHE JUST BYPASSED EVERYTHING AND ENROLLED ME IN IT. This makes me feel stupid, incompetent- like I'm someone who you can't discuss these things with because I'm not mentally capable of making my own decisions, and just... hopeless. I graduated high school with honors, AP classes, concurrent enrollment, and enough scholarships to last me the next 5 years of tuition. It's all gone. Dropping out made me lose all my scholarships, my GPA is too low for FAFSA, and I paid out of pocket to make up the classes I missed through summer courses. It's not enough. I'm not enough. Now I'm hyper-insecure about how people perceive me. Do they think I'm dumb? Do I come off as stupid? Incompetent? A college dropout failure? I've been low before, but not this type of low. I struggle so much already, and I'm trying to make up for my mistakes but it doesn't seem to be working. I want to know I'm not alone, but I think I would rather this be a me problem than have someone else being able to relate.

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Anon School August 03, 2023 at 4:12 am 0 0