Now I realize

Everything done to me was done intentionally by some people and others were never trying to hurt me. I think that narcissism runs in the family not my whole family but some of it and I never seen it until I was older. Since, when you are young everything is just so perfect until... you grow up and everything just sucks.

I think that what has been done to me the damage is not reversible and anyone who would ever try and help me even if they could would only get themselves hurt. I am stuck lost and have no real way out. Everyone lies to me about things.

Every time I see even the smallest amount of hope it is snatched away from me. Every time I get right with God there is such a demonic infuelce and well.. things aren't the way they used to be. People have changed since the way they used to be.

Just life sucks now especially after 2020. After 2015 really life has never been the same since then. I was truly happy up until that point in fact until 2013 I was the happiest person alive so I felt like.


I used to see the best in people I really did. I have always had a low tolerance for bullshit but I seen the best in people. I loved and respected everyone. Until people showed me the worst of them. Not everyone. Not everyone deserves to be treated like shit for what someone else has done to me. I wont' become them.

I won't become one of the people who tormented me night and day who bullied me. Who made me feel worthless. There were a few of them too who were horrible to me. The ones who are the ones who sabotaged me and everything.

Peoples opinions do matter because they will sabotage you. They will say all kinds of stuff about you behind your back while holding a smile to your face some will say it to your face. But... They will sabotage you. Some people tried to bring me back. That is a story in it's self.

I don't know why some people do the things they do. There has been some really amazing and wonderful people in my life too I will never forget and some who I never met but I know about... If that makes any sense

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anonymous Miscellaneous April 17, 2022 at 2:22 am 1 1