My Freudian slip

I was ranting about someone and then out of the blew I said this other guys name in the maybe category of stalkers yet I don't know I said it. I felt so embarrassed the next day and hope no one notices and they just think 'she is just a mad thing" as I just gave away my crush or sort of crush who has been on my mind and I don't know why. I wish I knew what my mind and gut was saying to me. anyway, its not good. I still sort of like him, can't work out why as we are as chalk and cheese as it gets. He would see me as a lazy whimpy ugly old dog with fleas a bbbb for sure. and I see him as a rich dumpster kick who goes around bashing up business people for fun to force them into contracts. Look I feel so stupid. But let this slide unless he gets noticeably angry. I picked up he didn't like my hanging around so I dropped out of his leads. Hopefully he never will have noticed. I am not the memorable type nothing great or exceptionable about me, very much plain, like a extra in a movie and not the main star all my life nothing even the main star in my own life. just an extra just a viewer, observer watching but not participating in life, Now to him that would be weird and stupid and lazy. He could be right. anyways, I put my foot in it. big time. oh shit. truth is I still kinda have a sorta crush on him. that can't be good can it.

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botheredbylove Crushes March 08, 2020 at 1:07 am 1 0