ftw

so fucking tired of everything i do and everybody i meet ending up being bullshit. no matter how hard i try, i keep getting fucked. im torn between giving a fuck and totally giving up. just want to die alot of the time lately. im only 26 and i feel defeated after this last year, the hardest year of my life, that still wont let up. It feel like the universe is constantly punishing me because i keep drinking and smoking in attempts to release stress. im so stuck in the habit, over 10 years strong. i want to be sober and have the energy and stuff that i had when i was a kid. but im afraid if i stop everything that itl just take away the one thing that i have to destress with, and then ill really be pushed off the deep end. i really dont know what to do. ive grown up being completely against medication for any remedy, but more and more as i age im starting to feel like its my only option. i know it isnt. but man, like i said, im pretty defeated. hope writing this helps. love yall. peace

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Kale Miscellaneous February 23, 2020 at 6:59 pm 1 0