My boyfriend

My boyfriend and I have been together for basically a year. We started dating in January, and its been really rocky throughout our whole relationship. When we first started dating, I was so head over heels for him, I didn't even talk to him in person because of how nervous he made me feel, despite the fact that we went to the same school. He was my best friends crush that ended up taking a liking to me, which made me feel horrible. But my boyfriend was kind of known as a man whore and he did not like my friend whatsoever. So one night we were all on the phone, my friend and I were talking to him while we were at the same house. We all started getting to know each other better, and me and him started talking more than him and my friend, just because our vibes matched more. So later on that night my friend and I made a plan to see if he would do anything bad, because we wanted to test his boundaries. So, I called him while my friend "asleep" and he asked me to do some things that I really wasn't comfortable doing, considering the fact that we had just met and my best friend liked him. But I brushed it off and continued to talk to him as my friends crush for him started to wear off. We would talk on the phone every single night, and I just fell so into love with him, knowing that I had finally found someone who liked me, no matter how. I've had really bad confidence and body image issues every since i can remember, and knowing that I could be loved by someone made me feel worth it for once. So everything was going smoothly and we actually started talking in person around the beginning of February. In March, is when things started going downhill. he told me that he was going to talk to his "friend" who wanted to talk to him. And of course I let him do that, I'm not a crazy girlfriend that doesn't let my boyfriend have any friends. But, turns out, he was on the phone with his ex girlfriend the whole time without telling me. For about a week or two straight he would talk to her on the phone. And it completely shattered my heart. This was the most betraying feeling I had ever felt, and I didn't know what to do about it. Not to mention, his ex girlfriend would send him hentai pictures (sexual anime photos) and he would save them and keep them for himself and send them to me later on. I knew he was talking to her, and I knew it was her sending the picture to him, He had admitted to talking to his ex after I confronted him about it. After a while he finally stopped talking to his ex, which did make me very happy, but he did not seem to be as in love as I was. In April and may there were lots of things that happened between other guys and myself, and not in the way you might think. I was touched without my consent multiple times throughout April and May. By one specific individual in my class. The first time he touched me, he started off by talking about my body and making sexual comments. I told him to stop but I couldn't start screaming and making a big deal in the middle of class. He touched me on my thigh, right by the private area and I quickly moved away from him and told him to stop. Keep in mind, I had never given this guy any type of idea that I wanted to do anything with him. He was a few inches shorter than me and a bit chubby (which isn't my type but if it's yours, I respect that) And I merely saw him as a friend, and barely even that, he annoyed me to be honest. I told my boyfriend about this situation and he got beyond upset AT ME. He told me that I could have done more to stop him and that I probably gave him an invitation to harass me. There had also been lots of other incidents were guys in my classes talked to me sexually, without me even saying anything remotely sexual towards them. I think it is completely normal for your girlfriend or boyfriend to have friends of the opposite gender, as long as they're not too close. Yet, he would always get so mad at me anytime i even mentioned one of my other guy friends. And then we get started with him telling me what to wear. He has told me what he wants my style to be like, what I'm allowed to wear at school, what I'm not allowed to wear, etc. And I listen, I know from a bystanders point of view they would have already left him, and I know that, But I spent so long waiting for him that I couldn't just go and throw it all away. He also mentioned that, while we were "not on good terms" he went over to his ex's house to "clear his mind". And the thing is, he told me this in October, it's now November, and it happened in late April Early May. Speaking of early May, on May 4th, he asked me what I would do if we "took a break". I simple said that I would be upset but that I would let him go and move on. He said okay and he assured me that he was not breaking up with me anytime soon. But, the next day he told me that he wanted to take a week long break just to "see how it felt to be single again." Obviously I did freak out a bit, and I was hysterical, I didn't even want to got to school the next day. But when I woke up, everything was like normal. He still texted me good morning and everything, so I was a bit confused. I asked him again, "we're still on a break right?" and he replied with yes. So I spent the whole day crying and really just going through it. Until I got home, and we both agreed that the break was not the best thing for either of us and that we needed each other. Yet during our relationship around, March-June, he would just say and do the rudest things. I recall one time were I looked up at him and he told me "stop fucking looking at me, you look fucking stupid and annoying. Which he later added onto telling me that I looked like an alien. During summer everything was alright, we did not see each other at all during the summer, so it was still a bit rough. I just felt like it was going like in did in January and February, when everything seemed to be perfect. Once we saw each other in school again, it did get a bit better. But once everything seems okay, of course something happens. It was open house and I was walking with a guy, who I used to consider my friend but is actually just a dick now. We were walking and he said something very rude towards me and I pushed him, as hard as I could, to show that I am not to be fucked with. I was not flirting and neither of us took it that way. But, when I told my boyfriend what had happened he took the situation way out of context and said that I "basically cheated on him" and he decided to call up his girl best friend and ask her if he should break up with me. And of course she said yes. In the end he just said he needed some time and we did not break up. Also, during the first month of school, he finally started letting me tell other people that we were officially dating. Lots of people had heard about the "break" that we took in May and assumed that we never got back together. So when we showed up back at school, he actually let me be publicly physical with him, and let me tell people that we were dating. Which honestly doesn't make any sense to me. Before we started the new school year, he got mad when guys hit on me yet, he wouldn't let me tell people that we were dating. Also in August, he went over to another girls house and hung out with her and her sister. Later on commenting saying her sister was "badass" and that the girl was "cute" It just hurts so bad. In September I met his mom, and I absolutely adore her, she is one of the sweetest people I have ever met, and she actually seems to care. I also met his little brothers, who I also love. I have just fallen out of love with him and I don't know what to do, because I will still miss it but now that I have had to wait so long, it just doesn't feel the same. He is now head over heels in love with me, and I'm not sure if I feel completely the same. He accuses me of cheating every other day and lets me have absolutely no contact with any guys. I do love him with all my heart but I don't know if I'm in love with him anymore. And I do care about him and his family, that's why it hurts so bad to feel this way. I just don't know what to do, and I need help.

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L Relationships November 19, 2021 at 6:41 pm 2 2