i do do not regret leaving my friend

i cant get this out of my head ive been thinking of harming myself the urge is strong do i even regret cutting ties with my friend i dont know anymore have they been emotionally abusing me the whole time or am i exaggerating all of this i never felt safe around them i feel like crying in a corner letting it all out every time i get in an argument with them my heart would shatter to millions when they call me a motherfucking bitch i had it all but they have been good to me how is that possible its your fault for making this all about yourself you never see the other persons side of the story but this is greatly affecting me in school and my daily activities i cant go out a day without thinking it was my fault for doing that without telling them im scared i would see them in public i dont even have the courage to say one word when im outside the house i feel like im putting a lot of pressure on my family theyre doing too much for me and all i give them is nothing in return i cant do this no no no more they seem to act more good than bad to me but what justifies the fact that i left this friendship you were with me the first year of kindergarten you have changed a lot you were never like this i miss len he was the only one i could relate to he was chill and never called me a motherfucking bitch like they did i am sick of it he was the only one that i felt like i could relate to i miss going to his house to hang out and stuff i am trying to improve my social skills but they keep getting downgraded so and so and ive always wondered, why. i cut off ties with len from last year because he was acting differently to my friend but ive felt worse even worse when this year they have decided to be friends back i regret letting my friend to my other friend they have ruined everything im in this junk on the computer trying not to cry about how much they have hurt me fuck off jen you shouldve never been in my life actually i had this weird feeling every time im around you and from last year to this year you have completely changed i dont feel like you accept me for who i am youre constantly telling me to do this and that instead of what im doing and im always the one apologizing and oh i regret telling you about the first time i i had a menstrual bleed you go to the fact that i never tell you things and i tell them around the people there and i dont want that to be the point that i just told you this shit all you do is to completely disreguard me and you wonder why you never get a text back most of the time fuck you jen i hate you ive honestly wished that all of the friends youve made will be gone as years go by i hope the reason they moved away is because they were tired of your nagging little ass and disrespectful assumptions you make out of them i regret telling you my socials i felt like the word was gonna end there at the point by the time i told you all of this shit im glad i stopped being friends with you i dont want to hear the same shit about your shitty little remarks of any game i play stop telling me its cringe i dont even care one single bit if its cringe all you do is to try to be on the top and bring me down in order to increase your success i had enough ive felt nothing but pain and fakeness around you i had to set up different parts of myself in order to see what you want in your own eyes most importantly the past months i felt downgraded disregard sad depressed guilty manipulated a lot more i can disclosed youve made my heart go from red to empty you took it out of me you took away the trust i had with you around i never felt the same again in the aftermath i take back all of those things ive given you i hate you i hate you i hate you fuck you jen i never wished you were here with me i want you out of my life and move on thats all you can do stop trying to invalidate me and if you do im not gonna deal with that shit i shouldve dropped you early but now this mess is permanent in my mind youve ruined i hate you fuck you

did i intend for this to be completely their fault? whats the point of making this?

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raspberryboogie Friends May 23, 2022 at 9:28 pm 0 0