There are no friends on Social Media

So, I'm starting to think I'm losing my mind. I'm just not the right kind of neurodivergent, I guess, or not the right kind of crafter. Sure it's my whole life and I'm dedicated to writing a book on the subject, but of course, I'm too much even for other crafters. You want to post your half-naked, gross OC picture to a server dedicated to needlework? Go ahead! Want to post a list of crafts I've found and hope to encourage others to try new things? Forget that!

I mean, it's not as if I have or can keep any real friends in real life. I'm too much. As soon as anyone learns how different my mind is, as soon as anyone spends any time with me at all, they go away. They find excuses, or worse, it's a moderated forum and I get moderated, or even banned. That's right, I was banned from a server because I was trying to understand how to communicate on that server and they just decided I wasn't the right fit. Oh sure let some other person rant for hours about some indy band, let other say and do things, but when I do it, I guess they don't like the reflection of their own selves.

I try to model a positive end to all the pain of growing up extremely neurodivergent, because I have two kids, but in the end, I have no friends, no one to talk to, no one to share my passion with. I have a safe stable family, I at least have a soft place to land, and I would never do anything permanent, however, there was a time when i did consider Electroshock or something else to maybe make my brain more normal. I don't want to lose the speed, but I wish I could lose the intensity, or the despirate need for connection. I just want to have someone I'm not related to willing to be in my life.

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Juno Friends January 01, 2024 at 3:03 pm 1 0