many things

i wrote this before im just putting it here again cause i want to let it out

oh boy lets get fucking started
1. my mom tried to kill herself in the night while me and my brother were asleep and i got taken away and nobody even brings it up and they expect me to just be happy after that traumatizing experience

2. i got sexually assualted at a young age by my stepbrother ( touching me in my sleep, grabbing my bottom when i walked upstairs in front of him, etc ) and literally nobody in my family knows and its been so long since it happened it basically wouldnt be relevant anymore but i still think about it every day and i cant even go up the stairs normally when someones behind me and i try to go up them really quick BUT I have asthma so im wheezing by the top of the staircase

3. my self esteem is so low its scary i want to claw off my face and i hate looking in the mirror because all i see is this stupid acne on my forehead and it drives me mad, also the fact that my brother ridicules me and calls me useless, slow, dumbass, and other insults literally daily. and my mom KNOWS about this because i overheard her saying something along the lines of "no wonder her self esteem is so low" to my brother but she doesnt do anything about it and he insults me any chance he gets and i really wanna kill myself

4. since about the start of last year i became very reclusive and always in the house and i feel like shit for it daily and i feel so unmotivated i cant do anything right and my brother gets mad when i cant do something that i was literally never taught how to do and everytime i TRY TO learn how to do it he snatches it out of my hands and tells me im not doing it right, and then he wonders why i dont know how to do alot of things and hes also a lying sack of shit

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jordyn Miscellaneous January 25, 2022 at 12:23 am 0 0