SEX ISSUES

because grandma didn't get sex I am not allowed to. just because my dad complains about not getting enough sex people assume its my fault. I have nothing to do with their sex lives. I didn't stop anyone fucking. my mother got sick of being re-infected with gential infections and itch and dad always had groin jock itch and genital itch, i mean god only knows where he stuck it half the time. I have a vaginal itch skin disorder and it runs in the family on both sides. I have to say my mother is right she found the one thing that stopped the itch and skin cutting and bleeding was no sex. I even find masturbation sets it off. no matter how clean I am doing it. I get urinary tract infections afterwards even if my hands are clean. I get skin cuts and bleeding just from santry pads and tampons and even soap or if I wipe with a towel or toilet paper. there seems to be something in the self lubrication of arousal and its the lubrication from within the vagina it self that sets going the itch more. I get ass itch as well and bleeding and anal fissures and cuts and its painful. I haven't had sex in over 18 years and it was not even sex I wanted. It was bloody awful sex. He stole my vaginity and didn't ask me what I wanted or liked. he just took what he wanted like a dirty fat middle aged bastard he was then and he must be old now. I was in my 20s I can't understand why so many men ignored me and rejected me. a woman does not get over that and the fear of rejection and deliberate sexual torture and taunting and shame labelled over being a virgin and I am so fearful of a man setting me up to hurt me like that all over again and take off with the better man/ women who has everything I don't because I am a feminine woman and not a blokey woman. that fear is greater then then the risk of experiencing mutual real love. people don't understand. I have been denied a sex life/love life, unlike my parents and grandparents who got married had kids and owned homes and had jobs I have none of those things. so I tell them "don't complain to me, you got your regular fuck for decades and a job and own things and a wedding day, I never did, I never had. so DON'T START ON ME! DON'T COMPLAIN TO ME ABOUT YOUR LIFE" I didn't ask for this skin disorder I inherited. I didn't ask for all this hurt and pain and abuse either. I have crushes and I can't even show them for fear of being belittled and made fun of and told I am childish. how do you think I feel? I did the best I could. there is no one to love me after all the years of me helping others in need for zero nothing and they can't return one favor.

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no one to love me Crushes August 20, 2018 at 5:38 am 2 0