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My Life Right Now

Okay look, I have a pretty privileged life. I have no right to complain, don't know why I'm here right now. I just know two things. I'm loosing it, and need someone to listen. I'm in highschool, I work a job and take the hardest classes I possibly can, because that's what society demands, right? Do that and you'll be successful, right? Well right now it feels like my life is falling apart. I have NO real friends, feel like I'm about to get fired from my job, can't finish the volunteer hours I need, can't get ready in time for AP Exams, can't submit my dual enrollment applications, can't get funding, can't write the essay I paid 1,500 dollars for the chance to write, can't find my family necklace, can't find my spare car keys, can't fix my car, can't drive because I don't have a backup cam or GPS anymore, can't tell anyone 'cause I'm little Ms. Perfect at school', can't finish my officer applications, can't go out, can't feel upset, can't get to church, can't escape hell- oh sorry, I mean school, can't keep my GPA up, and am just- I can't. I can't even express what I'm feeling in writing, so I resort to songs. Right now, I feel...
The Fixer by Brent Morgan
Burned Out by Dodie
Good Kid from the Percy Jackson Musical
My Grand Plan from the Percy Jackson Musical
and
Putting The Dog To Sleep by The Antlers
And I really, REALLY just want someone to understand. Help me. Please.
Call me Hiraeth Miscellaneous March 24, 2022 at 3:22 pm 0

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2 Confession Comments
To Hiraeth,

It's horrible to be going through something like this and feel like everything in your life is just not working and there isn't any route to make it work because that would have to forsake something else. Honestly, clumping them all together must make it all feel like it is piling up.
Friends are difficult because people change and suddenly you don't have the same experiences with them anymore so it feels like you've lost something even though they're right there and that it should be the same as before and if it's not then you're not doing things right. But sometimes it's just that you need to accept this and find whatever still clicks with the two of you and go off that. I'd recommend talking and dissecting at length a fandom you're both a part of. And if there's an aspect you're unfamiliar with, ask them about it. It's the age-old saying that people like it when others are interested in the same things they are. Generally.
This is also good for meeting new people.
But, in the nicest way possible, if you have no friends already, find something that you enjoy doing. This doesn't have to be something as large as going to the beach, it can even just be reading a book, or watching a TV show, something that you can come back to and just use to forget about everything else. I like to buy a bus ticket to somewhere, get off, and then buy one for another way back. But this is because of a free bus trip scheme in my area so not so great for a regular occurrence! But try it every once in a while if you have the money and time to do so.
Essentially, make sure you have something to come back to that is minimal effort, but clears your mind.

In terms of school, school sucks. There's no getting around that. I know it's past that point since you are doing your AP exams already, but some good advice when picking subjects which has undoubtable been told to you over and over: picks subject you can enjoy. Or at least tolerate a bit more than the others. Or pick subjects that work towards your future goals in life, or that you get good grades in. Those are the area you will excel in. Whether your motivation is for a high-paying job or for the job that makes you happy to get up every day and feel privileged to be able to complain about, make sure you have that motivation. People always have a reason behind doing things, so make sure that reason is one that you picked out yourself, not one that teachers thought would look good on an application.

Losing things is the way of life. We lose things, we grovel about them, we recognise what we liked about it, and move on. We're not leaving it behind, we're just taking the best bits about them and treasuring them. In the words of Dr. Seuss: "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."
I do think that with things like this, it is better to tell your family. If they are decent people, which I'm sure they are, you shouldn't be scared of their reaction. Just sincerely apologise, explain the situation, and let them talk it through with you.

I can't help much with job advice, but if it's essential, set an aim, and break it up into its objectives: smaller steps along the journey to make it seem much more achievable. If it told you to make $10 by the end of the month, that suddenly seems a lot easier to grasp than setting a goal for $1500 by the end of a year. Now I have to say, I have little to no concept of average wages and what a realistic, legal, wage looks like, so adapt this to a more believable figure if I'm making no sense.

If none of this made sense to you and had no relevance in your life whatsoever, just take from this that with the right motivation, that comes from decisions you make about your life, you will be happy with your choices. And that I wish you the best now and forever.
anonymous 4 years ago
i love you <3

kia babes 4 years ago
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