dont romanticize daddy issues mommy issues

i have divorced parents, and to make matters worse my parents are the type of couple that were the bad type of "polar opposite" couples. they just never sparked for a long time and then after they separated and took a break from their relationship like three times, they officially divorced. My dad jumps from woman to woman and he is very manipulative. He's republican and he's a doctor. Yep. He fucking pisses me off because of what he has said and what he has done to me and my sister. He has FOLLOWED my sister in his car and got into a PRIVATE NEIGHBORHOOD passing the guards unnoticed and my sister's best friend's dad had to tell him to get him out of there because my sister was afraid of him. At first I thought my dad was in the right because it seemed like he genuinely wanted to see my sister in an appropriate way by idk taking her for dinner and talking things out with her but NOOO he went into a private neighborhood and forced himself in. And he's so inappropriate with me because he talks about his relationships with the women that he has been to ME. TO HIS CHILD. AND IT PISSES ME OFF. Like it's literally mentally draining to be with him because all he does is COMPLAIN, VENT, IGNORE ME, TREAT ME LIKE A CHILD, IGNORE AND INVALIDATE MY FEELINGS. I genuinely tried to help him and understand him but it's so TIRING. And it so fucking unfair that I have had the urge to help him, and he never helped me like how I helped him. I'm nonbinary and I told him, but obviously he didn't care. He said that he didn't want to call me 'Neo" which is my name that I want to be called. He's an antivaxxer (ironically, he's a doctor as well), he thinks that Trump and Putin are heroes, aliens are controlling humanity (yk the reptilian theory? he believes in that), he is addicted to conspiracy theories and believes ANYTHING that you show him. He's a child emotionally. He also treats me like I don't catch on to his "jokes". Like sometimes he would point out my weight because I'm overweight and tell me that I am lazy or I love eating food because duh, again, I'm overweight. He loves to bully people and then asks himself why he's alone and sad. Ironically, he has talked about believing that karma is a real thing, and that karma hurts like a bitch, but I think that a person creates their own karma, and he has created it. My mom is the opposite of him. She's not openly affectionate like him, but she definitely cares more and is more connected to her feelings. She's generous, and faithful, and understanding but she misunderstands me because of my gender identity. She's a Christian and she thinks that being trans/non-binary or basically being ANYTHING besides CISGENDER is morally wrong and an abomination in God's eyes. I feel so alone right now. I have no friends. I have no one to talk to about this. I have a job and I'm working every day and trying to socialize more. Its so hard and infuriating.

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Neo Lin Parents April 25, 2023 at 9:24 pm 2 0