a guy that meant a lot 2 me isnt a part of me life

I feel extremely lost. I have been uncontrollably crying and shaking because he left. And it was all my fault. What also hurts how easy it was for him to just cut all ties with me and leave. And he said he 'loved me', but if he really did would he just leave? It shows how worthless I truly am. If I wasn't, why didn't he stay? I wasted so much time wanting to be what he wanted me to be. now I actually feel physically sick and horrible. I would do anything to get him back... I know, he doesn't have to stay, but I just wished he did. he was the only one that made me emotionally feel something and not feel totally worthless. the only one that gave me a glimmer of hope and a little bit of happiness. I felt like we completely got each other, but I guess all good things must come to an end. and in my case, all the good things in my life that have ended all have one thing in common - it starts and ends with me. God, I feel so alone and in darkness. the urges to hurt myself come and go - sometimes they are quite scary. I can't believe I've ruined yet another amazing thing. Another painful thing, he's probably found my replacement already...just like everyone else did. if only I could tell him I love him... one last time. He wants nothing to do with me anymore. Everything hurts but its gonna be okay, right?

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Candy Relationships May 08, 2020 at 7:00 pm 1 0